Little Changes that DEstress Your Holiday Season
I remember when I was in elementary school - I’m talking maybe 4th or 5th grade - and I came home in tears. Not just once. For several days. I was stressed about homework. Stressed about friendships. Stressed about not knowing if the boy I had a crush on had a crush on me too. I was stressed about the sports I was playing and about the chores I had to get done before I could go play with my neighbors in the ‘hood til the street lights came on.
My mom finally had enough. Well, first you should understand that my parents were blessed (yes, blessed) with FOUR girls. We always had male pets because my dad said he felt alone, haha. So you can imagine the amount of drama that floated in and out of the Elliott household on a regular basis. All four of us played every sport. We all had large groups of friends. And we all did well in school.
So when my mama had enough of my tears and freak outs, she stopped me in my tracks and said, “You’re doing too many things. Pick one of the sports you’re doing right now and drop it. You can keep the rest if you can handle it.”
Yikes. Drop one? But I’d be disappointing ‘everyone’. I’d let ‘someone’ down. I’d be known for quitting. Could I actually do that? Knowing my mom was more than serious, I chose to quit cheerleading. Or was it volleyball? Heck, I don’t even remember now which one it was, but at the time it was the biggest decision of my life!
What’s important to note is that she didn’t ask me to drop it all. She knew sports were important to me. And it was important to her too. It was an energy outlet, a social time for me and my friends, and another teacher in my life for learning how to abide by rules and be a good sport.
After I made the decision and my load lightened, I was a whole new person. I found balance in my little middle school life again. I can actually remember feeling like the weight of the world was removed from my shoulders! Back to “favorite daughter“ status. (That’s for my sissies reading this, HA!)
I remembered this story as I was reflecting on how to help my clients enter another holiday season. I love the holidays, but know all too well the burdens that come with them. And, yes, I’ve lightened the load. I try not to stress about perfection with Christmas cards. That it’s ok not to have a Thanksgiving table setting that looks straight out of a magazine. But the stress is still there in other ways.
Most of us ladies are perfectionists. We just can’t help it. As much as we try to hand off responsibilities to our family members, we tend to tweak it just a bit. Task masters at heart, but with a heart that is bursting with love… that’s us.
So how do we find a way THIS YEAR, FOR REAL to reduce the amount of stress and anxiety in our lives? I have a few ideas for you:
Make a list of everything you need to “do” between now and Jan. 1st. You’re going to need some focused time to do it thoroughly, so try not to rush it. Then be honest with yourself. As you look at your list decide if it’s REALLY necessary. Don’t be too soft in your decision making. Your mental health this season relies on you tweaking this list among other things. And if you decide you want to keep an item on the list, but can delegate it (without helicoptering), go for it.
Then spread these to-do’s on your calendar. Getting things done early makes life soooo much more relaxing. Why do we wait til the last second? Maybe we work better under pressure (I know I think I do), but in this case, getting it done sooner is best.
Plan some time with your girlfriends. Whether you’re shopping, meeting for coffee, attending a party together… it’s proven your anxiety drops and your mood is lifted being around people you love and laugh with easily!
Remember what the season is all about. Are the items on your list in alignment with what it’s all about?
Ok, I’m gonna bring it up. I’ll be “that person”. How can I say this gently… can you just calm down a little on the sugar for 6 more weeks? I didn’t say give it up! Just drop the idea that you deserve it. Or that you’re gonna gain a ton of weight back, but “oh well!” Nope. Not this year. Eat a snack before you head to the party. Down a big glass of water before you begin eating. Little changes help a TON.
And you KNOW I’m going to bring this one up: please oh please, don’t let your exercise routine fall to the wayside. Keep. Going. Strong. Exercise is your mental health’s saving grace.
It raises endorphins and improves your mood
It gives you energy
It promotes quality sleep
It controls weight
It combats disease and sickness
And it’s FUN and puts a spark in your sex life!
Hey, there’s still lots of time before the holidays come crashing through the door! Make some changes and get your priorities in check. You got this! I’ll keep sharing what is working for me (and maybe not working out so well) as we march through the end of the year.
Please join the Stronger Than Menopause group in Facebook and we can help each other out that way too! I’d love to hear what’s working for you. Until then, stay happy, healthy, active and in love with life!
Coach Ditty
